Roasting Crap Subject Lines From my Spam Folder

Today, let’s take a trip to good ol’ spam-land.

I want to see what kind of subject lines are popping up in the spam folder on Gmail these days.

Warning: Before we dive in, I want to be clear that it is not the subject lines that are causing these emails to end up in spam.

More likely, it’s because the Gmail algo has determined the email is not a good match for me, the reader.

One person’s spam is another person’s primary tab email.

Heck, even I might be in YOUR spam folder … right now!

But hopefully not.

And there are other reasons why an email ends up in spam that I won’t cover here.

So with that in mind … let’s break down some spam. Mmmm:

“$1830/mo on autopilot - makes his wife a believer! (only one month in my program, David)”

From: A sender in the MMO space, teaching some strategy around “hacking” Google Maps to make money online.

Dave’s Take: Trash.

I get what they’re doing by talking about the wife, as that could be a reasonable objection in the MMO space, but really, it’s super aggressive and tries far too hard.

Even for an unaware, low-sophistication reader, this probably didn’t hit well. I think most people reading a SL like this would roll their eyes. Consumers are jaded to this kind of promise from internet marketing “gurus.”

Also, the way they used the name merge field sounds like a villain inviting me into their lair ... ​​🤢

Okay, next up.

“We left this one up to you”

From: A dog accessory company (who I have purchased from in the past).

Dave’s Take: Okay, imagine getting an email with the subject line “We left this one up to you” during a stressful week at work.

I would … triggered. It’s like they’re preparing for me to get fired or something? Lol. Anyway, this SL is leaning on curiosity to do the legwork of getting the email opened. And it is not working.

There’s no reasonable promise in there, and there’s nothing they can pay off in the body copy. It’s all curiosity. Tactic is weak.

Okay, last one …

“Have some crypto on us.”

From: A very popular payment processor

Dave’s Take: The company that sent this is HUGE. Like, household name. So I’m not surprised to see a subject line like this.

Thing is, it was likely written weeks ago … and right now, the crypto space is totally under fire. Who wants crypto for free when you can buy it at bargain basement prices?

To me this is a classic example of not being able to match that ever-important “mass desire” of the market discussed in Breakthrough Advertising.

Anywho. This was a hoot.

But I’m running out of email space and need to end this email now.

So … goodbye.

Ahhhh ya got me.

Yeah not gonna let you off the hook without a link today.

Here’s what I wrote yesterday, and if you liked this post, you’ll probably like this other post too:

www.stealthiscopy.com/blog/box-fan-copy

David Patrick